if you only had one choice,

I was talking to canadian_turtle about ~my feelings~ and it became apparent I have enough of them to warrant a post in my journal.

It's no secret if you've been reading my twitter that I am extremely overjoyed by the official cancellation of Heroes.

Now, let me clarify, I am in no way denying how much I love the Heroes I love. No past tense there, I love it too much to ever let go and I will forever be smitten with the story as it started. And I think it's BECAUSE of that crazy, immeasurable, borderline-unhealthy love that I am now so glad, so relieved that it is (and we are) finally out of its misery. I feel the show deserved so much more than it got, in terms of writers mostly, and it was ruined beyond all recognition for me in its last couple of years. It's like watching a good friend spiral down to death. I'm genuinely, deeply sorry all that crap happened, but after it reached that breaking point where I could not in good faith condone its shit, I've just been waiting for it to officially end.

I know that sounds really harsh, especially to those people who still have that fire, who can still see it with the same eyes they did when they first happened to catch an episode. More power to them, and there is no malice in my words when I say I envy you. I envy you. I especially don't want to underplay the fact that the fandom has brought me all these incredible friends and experiences and, frankly, as dumb as it may sound, changed my life for the better. I will not forget that, and I am infinitely grateful - more than I can even articulate.

I'll always love the show in some way, and I'm not limiting myself to the first season as so many critics do. I've found something to love in every single volume, in almost every episode - but in the end, when you add it all up, it has offended me far, far too much to retain the esteem in which I once held it.

I only wish the very best to those cast- and crew members who did their job with all the dedication you could expect, and endeavored to bring us the very best of them every week even when the script made it so difficult. I can only hope they find exciting new opportunities worthy of their talent, and I'm pretty sure I will miss them a lot in the meantime.

I'm just outrageously happy the show is finally gone. May it rest it peace (spoiler alert: it probably won't). It can't hurt us anymore.

Note to self: need a Jack C. icon urgently.

So I'm kind of at a loss as to what I should post about tonight. It was definitely the most interesting way, I find, in which I've ever had the chance to interact with someone whose work I adore so. There were about 30 of us fans in attendance, tops. The atmosphere was very relaxed and informal, and topics varied from all things Heroes (duh) to the Beatles, via the paparazzi and various other things.

Trust me, I really hate to be one of those bitches who'll only tell LOL, you had to be there but... I got a strong sense that he's not a strong supporter of how fast "news" travel, and I use quote marks because that really only defines what we perceive as worthy of being reported. No great secrets were revealed, aside what I deduced from something he said, which he then confirmed with the request that it stay in the room. If interested, you'll probably read about it soon enough, but it won't be from me. This puts me at odds with my usual interest in knowing every little detail about events I was unable to attend, but I'm suddenly getting where the other side is coming from, and it's odd really, because I realize how uppity and full of crap I must sound. Anyway, not too take away from meticulous exposés (secret: I'll probably keep reading those and live with the shame), but I've come to see it as a matter of respect.

Also, I didn't take any pictures. I was sitting front and middle, about 5 ft. from the man and I would have been way uncomfortable pulling out the camera. We did however get a photoshoot! How that even slipped my mind before, I have no idea, but it did and thus- You know how sometimes you look at old con photo ops and wonder wtf you could have possibly thought you were wearing? Well I just have a feeling it won't take me much time to get there. >_> ANYWAY.

Having said all of the above, there are still a few of things I'd like to contribute to fandom pool that I don't feel are too intrusive on the ~moment~ (what are these words, idek).

( An Audience With Jack Coleman )

In other, less pompous words: OMG IT WAS THE BEST EVER! :D